


The highest point I know

by Roery



Category: Original Story, Original Work
Genre: Angst, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Shounen-ai, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 09:00:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9377702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roery/pseuds/Roery
Summary: Have you ever had amnesia or had that feeling of emptiness ... probably not.Have you ever been left behind ... Perhaps. If yes then, by who ,when ,where...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ao3 community! I am just a random person who enjoys writing stuff and likes yaoi/shonena-ai!  
> Thank you for clicking on this :) I hope you will enjoy what i have written and feel free to leave some feedback or suggestions thank you <3 :D.
> 
> -sincerely, Roery

The day I woke up to the sounds of beeping from unknown places, to the white unfamiliar ceiling, to the hustling and bustling of people in white coats swarming around like strangers to me. I remembered darkness. In fact, darkness was all that I knew. Around me, the world that i saw felt lonely and distant. I was cold, and i didn't know what to do. Then, you stormed into this white room with a worried face, which quickly turned into relief upon seeing me. You treated me like someone close, someone who you knew forever. You ran to me, and hugged me. But to my conflicted self decided to push you away. You … you, who were a stranger. Just like everyone else. And the moment I committed that act of denial, the moment those words left my mouth, you looked as if the world was going to end. 

Who are you?...Who am I.

That day, I recall the scene of you kneeling beside my bed crying. I’m sorry.. i’m sorry. Speaking those words on repeat. Like a broken recorder. But all i felt was nothing. A blank sheet. I, did not understand your words, did not understand what you meant. Your emotions that came pouring out like a fountain meant little to me. And only later did i find out that you seemed to be the cause of my accident, that your life was something which i had saved at the cost of my memory. Or so i was told. Then that moment i felt something tingling. So i searched for it. I searched long and hard, into the crevices of my memory. But I, could not find it. 

Hey… please tell me who you are

That night, I heard something calling to me, and I saw myself standing in front of a large towering door. The door looked ominous and deadly, it was labelled ‘My Memories’ but it was of no harm to me, as it was locked. There was a cold hard piece of metal in my hand, and i realised that that was the key. The call was coming from behind the door. But i hesitated. I wonder why. And before i could open that door, it disappeared and turned into a piece of paper. That was it, the only thing you left behind for me to hold on to. To this day, i have still never understood why you did that. But it seems that you left me behind.  
Why? 

Dear ------  
I’m sorry. If only I wasn't there. Then all this would never have happened. If only I didn't exist. Then your life would have been so much easier. I’m sorry that i put you through this. If only i never fell in love with you.Then you wouldn't have been hurt, you wouldn't have been shunned by society for falling in love with me.. someone of the same gender. If only i listened to you. Then i would not be hating myself like this. Even though we fought, even though i did that, u still saved my unworthy pathetic life. But even so, i love you. Yet I have hurt you, and will continue to do so if this goes on. So i decided. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? 

I felt like it was just moments ago, when i stood in front of the cold grey stone that had replaced your existence. It was lonely. So lonely. This indescribable feeling of sadness that washed over threatened to swallow and drown me. This time the door appeared before me again, in its tall and foreboding stature. I lunged forward at its handle, scared that it will disappear again, this time i opened it without hesitation. But before i opened the door fully, the key broke and the door disappeared. But i had seen enough, and i knew what was behind that door. When someone recovers from loss, they get everything back. They remember everything. But somehow the only thing that i gained back, were the memories of you. Though for me, that was enough. Now, I understand why you had that expression on the day which felt like ages ago, but in reality was not too far back.Because now, i have that exact same expression on my face. And the lingering feeling like the world was dead. So why? Why did you do it.

Why did you leave me behind?...

And today, at the highest point that i know, atop the tower high above the beautiful scenery that surrounded me like a cage. I had nothing left. Nothing but the clothes on my body and a small piece of paper that i clutched in my hand. That piece of paper emitted a feeling of craving. Like how a young child craves for sweets. But instead of sweets, it craved for forgiveness, that feeling grew stronger as drops of water fell onto the floor and splattered into the shape of a blooming flower. Hey, how do I give forgiveness if you go somewhere so far away? 

Please… tell me how

Then at that moment i knew. I knew that all i had to do was to chase after you, at the same time escape this foreboding cage. So I held onto the railings, knowing that those railings were the final barrier between you and me. And in order to meet you i must cross it. So, i did. And that feeling of wanting to cry out escaped me and blew up like a bomb, but that feeling was not regret, that feeling was that of relief. And as the wind blew through my clothes and penetrated my skin like ice, I thought of what i would say to you when we finally meet. Maybe i would get angry, then cry and laugh it off, and feel the warmth of your skin and flesh. Maybe i would run into your wide open arms and embrace you with my body and this time, never let go. And as the cage around me shattered and disappeared, maybe I would fall in love all over again.… ah, what am I even saying? Haha … That has already happened a long time ago.

I love you, Yuuki.


End file.
